A heartbreak warfare
by notsocoherent
Summary: They fought. They're not talking. But still they love each other. First fanfiction in English, so sorry for possible mistakes. Fluff, songfic does this still exist? . I love John Mayer and Johnlock. Enjoy. And if it pleases you or not let me know!


**So, had been AGES since I don't write a fanfiction. At least five years AND never wrote one in English. So, not so sure about this one and please forgive me if I made some grammar mistakes. If you guys review it, I'll be very grateful and correct it. And tell me what you thing, if I may dare to ask.**

**One-shot, fluff, songfic, Johnlock. But seriously, do you guys still write songfics? It just came to my mind while I was heading home from work listening to John Mayer. Ok, enough stalling. **

**Rated M for drug use. Just in case.**

**Title: A heartbreak warfare**

**Pairing: John Watson / Sherlock Holmes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own (Oh, I wish) any of BBC's Sherlock.**

* * *

_Lightning strike inside my chest to keep me up at night_

_Dream of ways to make you understand my pain…_

They had a fight. The worst of them all. Has been days and not even a word. John would keep up the act and not talk either, but he still would turn and turn again in his sheets at night over the agony it was causing. Those three weeks were the worst he could remember. Would he had to find a way? Would he always have to fight for this relationship? No, it was Sherlock's time to fight for them now.

_Clouds of sulphur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere_

_It's heartbreak warfare_

It was not a three patch problem anymore. The smoke of Sherlock's cigarettes rose in his room with the third in a row. Since that fight three patches wouldn't solve the problem. Not even cigarettes would. Three weeks now and John didn't make a move towards reconciliation. This time he must be really mad. John had always let it go and make up, but this time was taking too long and Sherlock was worried. He's even smoke those damn cigarettes in front of him to tease, make him talk and he didn't. It was driving him mad and he needed more to make it stop.

_Once you want it to begin, no one really ever wins in heartbreak warfare… _

_If you want more love, why don't you say so?_

It was devastating. It took John so long to finally admit his feelings for Sherlock and now that he had, that they had taken all that there was to take from one another… Sherlock was always a puzzle after all. Was he happy? Was he miserable? Was he finding it amusing? Was it an experiment? Why couldn't he just SAY something instead of imply in such subtle and almost imperceptive ways? If he wanted, why didn't he say? He'd given his heart and was losing his mind.

_Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again_

_Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain_

And living with him like that was getting more painful every day, even if Sherlock didn't let it show. Every time John was in in the same room and not talking or looking at him was like a rock weighting a ton in his chest, compressing his heart painfully and he still had to maintain his calm, his face blank. It was a hard game, and for once, one he was not enjoying at all.

_How come the only way to know how high you get me is to see how far I fall?_

_God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me, but I can't break through it all._

That emotionless face, no sign of… well, nothing at all. He was pushing John's limits; see how long it was going to last until he breaks and make this right, always him, always John, always his turn. And bloody hell, he would. He'd crawl; he'd kiss and make up, if only Sherlock gave him a sign that he wanted that too. John was always aware that Sherlock's strongest would never be showing his emotions. But still, even with that remarkable blank expression, he could take the first step into reconciliation and John would gladly accept it. But Sherlock had put up so great walls that John alone couldn't break. He was afraid that if barged in, tearing Sherlock's emotional barrier apart; the world's only detective, the high functional sociopath; he would push him even further away. Since long, he knew he had to be careful with Sherlock's feelings to not scare him away. All John needed was to know his loved one was willing to carry their relationship on, and he would give absolutely everything to make him happy. That was cheesy, melodramatic and juvenile, but was true. He had never fallen so deeply and madly in love.

_I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight, _

_Let's just fix this whole thing now._

The need to get away from that was so great that cigarettes couldn't ease him anymore. The cocaine made him get away from that agonizing situation. He couldn't bare it anymore, he had to escape. John had never taken so long to make up with him. Soon he would get tired and leave, leave him. And that thought was too scary and unbearable. The drug kicked in, and kicked hard. The world was spinning round and round, everything was bright and overwhelming. He got up, tried to stand on his feet, stumbling over the flat. And he finally fell, not knowing if he was falling on the ground or into oblivion.

_I swear to God we gonna get it right if you lay your weapon down_

_Red wine and ambient, you're talking shit again. _

_It's heartbreak warfare_

The sound of a body falling through furniture and heavily hitting the ground alarmed John. He ran; something was so wrong with that sound that it sent a horrifying feeling to all his nerves. Sherlock. Sherlock had done something stupid, and seeing him convulsing on the ground, wine, cigarettes and traces of cocaine on the table. No, no. God Sherlock, what have you done?

_Good to know it's all a game_

_Disappointment has a name_

Sherlock opened his eyes, not knowing where we were. His head ached in a way it never did before, his whole body ached and felt heavy like never had. A relieved voice reached his ears and he knew where he was. John's bedroom. John's voice. John's face looked incredibly exhausted, angry and worried, but relieved. How could someone show so many different feelings at once?

- You scared me to death. Don't you ever, ever, ever do this again or I'll kill you myself.

- I… I… - He tried but his tongue would not collaborate.

- You overdosed. What the bloody fucking hell? Do you want to kill yourself and me along the process?

- You wouldn't talk to me.

- So you do this? So you force me to rescue you from the claws of death as a cry for attention? You could've just talked to me. Said a single world, whatever it was. I just needed to know that you cared.

- So it was a game. The strongest one would win. I didn't take you for that type of man, John.

- It wasn't a game, you stupid little man. I just didn't want to scare you, to make you run away from me. Those days were awful to me. But you showed nothing and I didn't want to push you. I didn't know that you cared.

- Caring is not an advantage John, as once said. And still… You are my disadvantage. A disadvantage I don't want to get rid, though. – And then his voice cracked, weak, fragile like John never heard. - Don't leave me John, please don't, don't leave me.

- I'm not, I'm not! I'll never, why would you think that?

- You wouldn't talk and…

- Shush, love. You should know; I just didn't want to scare you and then lose you. I'm not going anywhere, I'm here. I love you, you drive me mad, you make me want to punch you and you make me want to kiss you endlessly.

- Please John, you sound like a teenage girl. – Sherlock had a grin in his face though. – And I love you too, just so you know.

_It's heartbreak warfare…_

And with kisses; broken hearts were mended and pride lost the war. No one can win in heartbreak warfare. No one, except love.


End file.
